How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

I think that the woodchuck could chuck as much wood as he wanted! By the way what is a wood chuck? Is it like a gopher? This is difficult to question answer. The amount of wood that woodchucks would chuck on a given day varies greatly with the individual woodchuck. According to a Wall Street Journal article, New York State wildlife expert Richard Thomas found that a woodchuck could chuck around 35 cubic feet of dirt in the course of digging a burrow. Thomas reasoned that if a woodchuck could chuck wood, he would chuck an amount equal to 700 pounds.

Some say it depends on three factors:

• The woodchuck's desire to chuck said wood.

• The woodchuck's need to chuck the aforementioned wood.

• The woodchuck's ability to chuck the wood.

Others say:

• He would chuck, he would, as much as he could, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

• If he could chuck wood, the woodchuck would chuck as much as he could!

• A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

• A woodchuck would chuck all the wood that the woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

• If a woodchuck could chuck wood, he would and should chuck wood. But if woodchucks can't chuck wood, they shouldn't and wouldn't chuck wood. Though were I a woodchuck, and I chucked wood, I would chuck wood with the best woodchucks that chucked wood.

• If a woodchuck could chuck wood, then s/he'd chuck all the wood, s/he'd chuck and chuck and chuck and chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

• It would chuck the amount of wood that she sells seashells on the seashore divided by how many pickles Peter Piper picks.

• One quarter of a sycamore if you give him a quarter for every quarter of the sycamore he cut.

• It might depend on how many female woodchucks were present. Or, it could depend on whether the woodchuck's mother-in-law was around or not. If she was, he'd be chucking all day. If not, he'd be watching the football game.

• Some maintain that woodchucks could not and would not chuck wood at all.

• It depends on how good his dentures are!

• A woodchuck, would chuck, as much wood, as a woodchuck, could chuck, If a woodchuck could chuck wood. But unfortunately, woodchucks do not chuck wood.

• About 5.72 fluid litres of wood

• About as many boards as the Mongol hoards would hoard if the Mongol hordes did hoard boards.

• Um....... 23????

• Tons. More than you can count. Honestly. No one can chuck more would than a woodchuck.

• If the woodchucks name was Maurice, then it could chuck all the wood that it wants to. However, if its name is Frank, no chucking would be for it.

• Due to the average size of a wood chuck and the general density of wood (not including cork) if a wood chuck could chuck wood it would probably get through about 6.573 pounds per day, assuming the wood chuck is functioning correctly.

• Using the formula: (W + I) * C where W = the constant of wood, which is well known to be 61, as agreed in many scientific circles. I = the variable in this equation, and stands for the word "if" from the original problem. As there are three circumstances, with 0 equaling the chance that the woodchuck cannot chuck wood, 1 being the theory that the woodchuck can chuck wood but chooses not to, and 2 standing for the probability that the woodchuck can and will chuck wood, we clearly must choose 2 for use in this equation. C = the constant of Chuck Norris, whose presence in any problem involving the word chuck must there, is well known to equal 1.1 of any known being, therefore the final part of this calculation is 1.1. As is clear, this appears to give the answer of (61 + 2) * 1.1 = (63) * 1.1 = 69.3. However, Chuck Norris' awesome roundhouse kick declares that all decimal points cannot be used in formulas such as this, and so it must be rounded to the final solution of 69 units of wood.

• How Chuck Norris got involved

• A woodchuck would only chuck as much would as Chuck Norris would allow it to, because the woodchuck shares Chuck's name. Therefore, Chuck must punish it and make it chuck as much wood as Chuck can. So, a woodchuck would chuck as much wood as Chuck could.

• None cuz a wood chuck cant chuck wood! :P

• Approximately 3.9675 pounds every 5.6843 seconds. So there.

• 2.865 lbs every 11.3686 Seconds?

• About 15 pounds a minute.

• i speak differently i say WHAT DOES YOUR QUESTION HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING! and btw its 84% lol

• it depends how good his dentures are!!!

• As much as he needed to be satisfied

• But the true jokey answer, as told by my grandfather is: As much wood as a woodchuck could chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

• a woodchuck would chuck all the wood he could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood

• Are you kidding? Everybody knows a woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

But it definitely couldn't chuck Chuck Norris.

In An Absolut World U.S. Certifies The Absolut Stupidity [English Post]

Welllll as fas as I know, Mexicans were the US for 1500 years - at least.

They were there before some Europeans go and conquer the whole thing...

Nation without any history - Country founded on blood and genocide.

They don't want to see their Great Democratic Free Nation like you see it on the map.

But, they like to mess up with other countries, playing God and making useless wars like Vietnam, Kossova, and now Iraq.

I am Greek. Whether you like it or not, my country counts 3.500 years of active history. Philosophy, science, theatre. Everything you now know (well almost everything), is on a theory of Democritus, Sofokles, etc. The "Democracy" was founded in Greece and the way we know that definition now, its not a Democracy anymore.

And we had Alexander the Great, yeah he was like Americans, he went slaughtering and fucking around in other countries.

But he is Greek.

Not because mr Communist TITO wanted to be from Skopje.

You don't like knowing that your country wasnt a country before you slaughtered Mexicans to get their own country.

Well, I don't like that stupid propaganda you do against Greece. Do you want Skopje? Oh then be my guest and make them a State on the US. You don't know history mates. Coz you aint have any. While you were trying to found your nation, Europe was already in its 2000th year of living. You were there trying to kill everyone making up your New World and for 400 years you are still kneeled trying to celebrate the more history-less country in the whole world.

You know what you need? CCCP. That's what you need. Now that you don't have the competition you think you rule the world. Pitiful assholes you are hey.

Well, to the point.

You don't like seeing Mexico bigger than you (omg that's it: You afraid to have smaller dick than other countries).

And I don't like seeing NEVER EXISTANT BORDERS for a little ex-communist pitiful and useless country.

Macedonia is Hellenic. Greek. Δικιά μας πως το λένε.

And fuck you all.

Viva Mexico.

Oh I was about to forget.

What the fuck is your job demandic Europe to accept shit like Turks and Skopjians? Get a life for Christ sake. You want them? Get them to your country.

Then you all the murderers and shit of the world, will be together.

Stay out of other people's business. It's called "I know my place and I am being really discreet".

Who asked you anyway?

Κι η χλωμή Σελήνη όλο όνειρα μου στήνει...

It was many and many a year ago,

In a kingdom by the sea,

That a maiden there lived whom you may know

By the name of Annabel Lee;-

And this maiden she lived with no other thought

Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,

In this kingdom by the sea:

But we loved with a love that was more than love-

I and my Annabel Lee-

With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven

Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,

In this kingdom by the sea,

A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling

My beautiful Annabel Lee;

So that her high-born kinsmen came

And bore her away from me,

To shut her up in a sepulchre

In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in Heaven,

Went envying her and me-

Yes! that was the reason (as all men know,

In this kingdom by the sea)

That the wind came out of the cloud by night,

Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love

Of those who were older than we-

Of many far wiser than we-

And neither the angels in Heaven above

Nor the demons down under the sea

Can ever dissever my soul from the soul

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee:-

For the moon never beams, without bringing me dreams

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

And the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee:-

And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side

Of my darling -my darling - my life and my bride,

In her sepulchre there by the sea-

In her tomb by the sounding sea.

Edgar Allen Poe

Εμένα οι Φίλοι μου... My Friends...

Μου πήρε καιρό...

Να καταλάβω πως δεν είχα τύχη με τους πραγματικούς φίλους, αυτούς που μπορείς να έχεις μπροστά σου και να τους κρατήσεις το χέρι. Κι αυτό γιατί κάθε χέρι που με κράτησε, έπειτα από κάμποσο, με δάγκωσε.

Γνωρίζοντας πολλά άτομα μέσα από το νετ, και θέλοντας να κρατηθώ σε αυτή την απόσταση, από κείνη της σχετικά ανιδιοτελούς σχέσης, θέλω να αφιερώσω αυτό το ποστ σε όλους εκείνους που μιλάμε καθημερινά...

Γιατί εμένα οι φίλοι μου είναι κίτρινα προσωπάκια...

**********************************************************

It took me some time to understand...

...That I didnt have much luck with real friends, those who you can touch and have in front of you, holding your hands together. And that's because after sometime, they, who hold my hand, they turned their true face and bit me.

Knowing lots of people through the net, and wanting to be held behind the screens, having this relationships with all the matter of distance, I 'd like to dedicate this blog post to them; to them who I talk everyday...

Because my friends are just yellow smilies...

That's For Miss Angel Dawn

Angel is a great person I ve met in a gaming site; She's so sweet and awesome that few of people can be.

She comes on to my blog and reads my posts with translators etc and I felt a bit need, to dedicate her a song that I love so much!

We are buddies for a year and more maybe, we talk often, she's a brilliant person, great student and awesome TD !

That's my little no budget (unfortunately) gift for the Season..

I hope 2008 will find you calmer, better, more indepedent, with true friends around you and with your bad luck shot and killed!

That's for you, one of my best Ballads EVAH!

She's Like The Wind...

Click to watch the video